i feel guilty for coming on here and whining and not even posting any pics, so here are a few sketches I’ve been working on lately..
this city’s at war with me. since I’ve been here it’s just been one beating after another. but I’m not gonna say I hate it though, there’s plenty to like, but it’s been a while since I’ve been able to see any of that.
my place got broken into 2 weeks ago, and though most of that was my fault, it’s still been a lot to deal with, and I lost quite a bit. still, like i say, it was for the most part my fault and now tonight my housemate just told me they’re kicking me out and that I have to find a new place by the end of the month - which is like in 7 days. i’m freaking out a little. we never truly clicked anyway; they’re the talkative, social type and i split my time between work and coming home to draw. so I “haven’t been making an effort to make this place feel like a home”…
as angry as i am, i cant argue with that point though, and i was thinking; maybe this is some kinda bigger metaphor for life, y’know? maybe life requires - no - demands that you engage with it on a meaningful level or else it’ll spit you out. maybe.
anger has always been a motivator for me. i used to go around being very angry at life, at the hand i was dealt, and cursing god and everyone in this world and swearing that i would one day exact my revenge, and i felt a little bit of that again tonight. i was walking down long street (cape town’s busiest, loudest street), and i was cursing al of it under my breath “fuck these people, fuck this city.” i’ve got this cool little balaklava that I cut the top off of so that I can show my hair, and I was thinking of pulling it all the way down and frightening all of those rich exchange students into a frenzy by just walking down the main road, but then I remembered that this is Cape Town, and that I would probably be arrested without a moment’s consideration.
photo taken by Chris Kritzinger ()
still, i walked past all of those empty, unlit shops and i promised myself that as shitty as things are and though I’m on the verge of being homeless, things have been worse. I’ve gone through worse, and one day I will make this city my bitch. andas shitty as things are i don’t really feel defeated. i made it from a fucking township called zwide in port elizabeth and worked my ass off into becoming an art director at one of south africa’s best creative agencies, and just as i left my hometown with my name brandished into the minds of my university’s students and lecturers, i’m gonna do the exact same thing here but on a much bigger scale. I’m gonna own this fucking city, and my work will be chiselled into the pages of this country’s pop and urban culture landscape. and then i’ll move on to something else. i’m saying this here because i want there to be a public record that people can point back to and say that he did everything he said he would.
this city’s waging a war, but fuck it, i’ve got work to do.
p.s. this will be the last time il be posting any images on here for a while, i’m stockpiling al of my work for an internet exhibition ill be putting on at the end of the year. ill see you then if you’re still around.